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Matthew Heatley-Swaine
Cognitive Behavioural Therapist
Welcome, I am so pleased you have found me. My name is Matthew and I am a Trauma psychotherapist and supervisor.
I help people whose past traumatic experiences affect their relationships and lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt or shame. Helping people to be more authentic to themselves, to feel safer and more connected to others.
If your anxiety, loneliness and disconnection are holding you back from stronger and healthier relationships, I'd love to hear from you.
I have over 17 years experience in the mental health field. I work with people aged 16+ with range of emotional difficulties and can meet with you online or face to face. I am also a clinical supervisor to other CBT therapists.
Contact me
About me
Therapy
Does this sound familiar?
Feeling constantly anxious around others,
even the closest people to you.
Fearing rejection.
No matter what you do, you still don't feel comfortable.
Trauma is not just the 'big' events that happen in life. Trauma and PTSD can also be caused by the things that didn't happen. You might not have even related the word 'trauma' to your own experiences, yet, you have found my page because you are struggling with feelings of anxiety, guilt or shame and relationships can often feel like hard work.
Whether you are anxious about being liked, loved or accepted...
Or you struggle to set boundaries and people please too much...
Your worst nightmare is to be rejected by someone...
Or you find it difficult to tell people how you are feeling or express your own needs...
You are not alone. Many people with past experiences that have either been neglectful, abusive or controlling often struggle with the problems above. I strongly believe that people have the power to reclaim their lives from the effects of trauma, live a more fulfilled life and feel more healthily connected to others.
As someone who has lived experience of this and years of professional training, I know that we cannot forget what happened, but we don't have to let the past dictate the rest of our future.
I'm here to help you put the past where it belongs.
"When I first went to see Matt I was in a very bad place, I didn't know what was happening to me."
His help has been invaluable. I don't know what I would have done without his help. I would recommend him to anyone having difficulties. Thank you so much Matt.
A real review from a recent client of mine
My story...
People often assume I have it all together, especially being a therapist.
However, I have had to work hard on myself so it didn't all fall apart. It is said that a therapist can often end up in the line of work they do to try and ease the pain of others as they know what pain feels like themselves.
Growing up, I always felt like I didn't fit in, that there was something different about me. But, I learnt to avoid this feeling by adapting myself to whatever I thought the people around me wanted to see. To please them, desperately wanting to avoid conflict. Surely as long as I could do that, I'd be fine?
However, none of that really worked in real life and none of it made me feel any differently. I knew that to really connect with people, I had to be the real me and show my vulnerability to people, only then could I really be a part of a relationship.
Don't get me wrong, it's sometimes hard but this is the reason why I'm so passionate about helping others to stop being held back by what happened (or didn't happen) in the past.
One to One Therapy
I help people manage their anxiety, guilt and shame due to difficult or traumatic events that have happened in past relationships.
I find that it can really help to understand why we interact and behave in our relationships as we do considering past adversity. Together, finding out what unhelpful patterns have followed you into adulthood and learning to heal the wounds that have been left.
Click the links to follow me on my socials.
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