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Matthew Heatley-Swaine
Cognitive Behavioural Therapist
For years, I downplayed what
happened in my past.
Would I have named it trauma, or even as 'bad'? - probably not.
I thought it's just what happened and I should have the strength to not let it affect me.
I was always the strong one.
The one that others relied on and spoke to,
but the other way around - very rarely.
Worried about how I fitted in with others.
To the outside world, I was resilient, supportive, adaptive and
would go along with anything.
I decided to move to the other end of the country in attempt to start again, lead a life I choose.
I wanted to try and not let anything get in the way of making new connections so threw myself into everything I could.
However, what I didn't realise is that I would fall into patterns of acting like nothing bothered me, people pleasing and feeling responsible for peoples' emotions and trying to fix them.
It took me a long time to realise that you can't run from your own mind and the memories you have. Instead, I needed to look internally and question why I felt the need to be this way in relationships - only then could they be different.
My first job in the mental health field was in 2009 and I trained as a CBT therapist in 2014. My work has never been affected, I can always show up with confidence but with relationships in my personal life, that was a different story.
The truth is...
Growing up, I wasn't sure what a healthy relationship looked like. However, I only knew what I knew, right?
And if it wasn't for certain people that came into my life, I'm not sure what path I would have been on.
I still have to work hard on truly being myself, not over compensating, showing vulnerability and not people pleasing as much. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't always happen but I now have a much better relationship with myself and the people closest to me.
From what you have read,
can you imagine working with me?
I have a strong passion for helping people in general but particularly in the area of trauma. I believe that people are able to live more fulfilling lives and have deeper connections with others despite the experiences of the past.
With my own lived experience and years of intense training, I am confident that I can help you finally leave the past where it belongs.
BSC Psychology degree
10 years in the NHS
PG DIP in CBT
Former CBT Team Lead
17+ years experience
Clinical supervisor
Click the links to follow me on my socials.
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