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Matthew Heatley-Swaine
Cognitive Behavioural Therapist
Is anxiety and struggling to be yourself getting in the way of feeling more connected in your relationships?
As you are here, maybe you are struggling with:
- Not feeling comfortable in your own skin when around other people.
- Struggling to tell others how you feel or assert your needs.
- People pleasing or adapting yourself for others.
If you're fed up of it being this way...
Anchor 1
Does this sound familiar?
Feeling constantly anxious around others,
even the closest people to you.
Fearing rejection.
No matter what you do, you still don't feel comfortable.
So how is therapy actually going to help?
Trauma is not just the 'big' events that happen in life. Trauma can also be caused by the things that didn't happen. You might not have even related the word 'trauma' to your own experiences, yet, you have found my page because you are struggling with feelings of anxiety, guilt or shame and relationships can often feel like hard work.
Relationships can often be complicated and messy, and that's without negative and traumatic experiences affecting how we think, feel and behave in them. Many people with past experiences that have either been neglectful, abusive or controlling often struggle with the complication on another level.
My work with people starts with understanding the patterns that previous experiences have formed, what impact they still have on them and what is unhelpful about them. Difficult experiences can create an unhelpful cycle of thoughts, feelings and behavioural reactions. Once we have understood your individual cycles, we can then work together to find ways of creating healthier and more sustainable ones.
I strongly believe that people have the power to reclaim their lives from the effects of trauma, live a more fulfilled life and feel more healthily connected to others.
As someone who has lived experience of this and years of professional training, I know that we cannot forget what happened, but we don't have to let the past dictate the rest of our future.
I am passionate about treating people as an individual, tailoring therapy to the person, not from the text book. If you spoke with one of my previous clients, they would tell you that I work directly around the core issues and that I am straight to the point but in a human and compassionate way..
My therapy approach
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
This form of therapy is based on trying to break unhelpful cycles within the following factors:
1) Trigger or situation
2) Thoughts
3) Emotions
4) Physical reactions
5) Behavioural responses
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
The best way to describe this form of therapy is by this acronym:
A - Accept difficult thoughts and feelings
C - Connect with your values and what really matters in life
T - Take meaningful action (despite the discomfort or distress)
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
This approach is designed to develop self a more compassionate attitude towards the self.
It helps people to build an understanding of themselves and what drives their distress. To then view their experiences through a compassionate lens rather than a critical one.
My human and real life approach
Relatable
You will soon learn that I am just a regular person. Yes, I am trained as a therapist but I'm also human too. I will learn about what makes you you and if appropriate and helpful to you I will share parts of my own life. Our sessions will be real, to the point of where you want to be and not 'straight out of a text book'.
Compassionate
I genuinely care about my clients, their stories and their want for change. I am able to tune in to the way you communicate and your emotional needs. I have always been able to pay attention to the things that aren't said and bring them to you in a compassionate way. I want the best for you and will be there through the worst.
Effective
I deliver high quality and evidenced based therapy that is known for positive outcomes. My past clients will tell you that despite how difficult therapy can be, the results from it are worth the effort. I have over 17 years experience and supervise other therapists in their practice (both privately and for two universities).
Focused
We will take therapy at your pace and I want to create a space where you feel comfortable to bring your true self. Your job is to show up as honestly as you can, my job is to keep us focused on what is most important to you. The approaches I use are known for being goal oreintated, in other words - focused on the change you want.
I practice under the governing body of the BABCP. This certifies that I am safe to practice and abiding by their codes of conduct.
BSC Psychology degree
10 years in the NHS
PG DIP in CBT
Former CBT Team Lead
17+ years experience
Clinical supervisor
Pricing
Just as the gym or a physio is worth the investment for your physical health, therapy is the same but for your emotional health.
Remote therapy (Zoom video call) - £90 per session
Face to face therapy - £95 per session
(See below for more details)
You can commit for as long as you need or are able to but I would suggest meeting weekly, at least to begin with. I am used to working with people for relatively short term therapy, two months is great, five is even better.
Everyone is entirely different, you might want to work with me for just a few very focused sessions or delve deeper for longer - the choice is yours.
If you are unsure about whether I would be the right therapist for you, I offer a free 15 minute consultation. This will give you a chance to meet with me and find out if you feel comfortable.
Whitstable office
(Chestfield - Near Sainsburys)
Canterbury office
(City centre, next to the fire station)
If you would like to meet with me face to face, please enquire for exact location details.
FAQS
What can I expect from my first session?
The first session will be an assessment where we will spend some time getting to know you, understanding the main problem areas and your goals for treatment.
If it feels right for you, we can then formulate a treatment plan together.
How will I pay for sessions?
I ask that you pay by bank transfer prior to each session. I offer a 10% discount to a block of sessions paid upfront.
I am registered with certain insurance companies so if you wish you fund your treatment this way, please contact me.
What if I don't find the therapy helpful?
I would always encourage you to be honest about how you are finding the experience. If something is not working, tell me, if you want to pause or end the therapy, that is completely fine. If there are issues with your therapy, I'd rather know so I can work out how to improve it for you.
How do I know if I need therapy or if I'm ready for it?
You don't need to wait until things are really bad. Therapy can be useful to prevent problems you have noticed getting worse before they do. You don't have to have high motivation and full enthusiasm to start therapy. Even if you are at least mildly curious about making changes and have reservations and skepticism, that can be a good time to start.
How long is a session?
Each session will be 50-60 minutes long. If there are reasons that it would be helpful to have a slightly longer session, we can agree this.
Do you work with problems other than trauma?
Absolutely. I am trained to work with a range of conditions such as depression and various anxiety issues such as OCD, health anxiety, panic attacks, generalised anxiety, social anxiety and phobias (to name a few). I can also help you with anger, stress management, body image issues and low self esteem.
Click the links to follow me on my socials.
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